Do You Feel Overwhelmed by Your Out of Control Emotions?
Do you feel emotional pain so intensely that it can be overwhelming? Are you sensitive to the hurtful things that other people do or say? Do you feel disappointed when the people close to you let you down? Are you often very worried that people will leave you? Have others told you that your emotions are “too much?” Do you wish you could build a life in which you could feel better about yourself and your relationships?
Your emotional life may feel out of control. Maybe you lash out in anger when you feel unheard, which strains your relationships and makes it even harder to be taken seriously to next time you wish to express yourself. You might feel “empty” and disconnected from your real self or the self that you want to be.
Perhaps you sometimes feel like an “emotional burn victim,” and the smallest event seems to trigger intense levels of emotional pain. Maybe you try to express and change your overwhelming emotions by engaging in self-destructive behaviors, such as drinking too much or hurting yourself. You may have had suicidal thoughts, and sometimes feel that you don’t deserve to live. You might feel hopeless and overwhelmed because you don’t know what to do to make things better.
If You Are Struggling With the Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, You Are Not Alone
The problems described above are consistent with Borderline Personality Disorder. Having some or all of the difficulties associated with BPD is one of the most common reasons that people seek psychotherapy.
The causes of BPD are complex. Due to different genetics, people are born with an individual tendency to be emotionally sensitive or insensitive. Those who are naturally emotionally sensitive feel emotions more intensely than others and are more prone to strong emotional reactions to events that may not have the same impact on someone else. Sensitive individuals have a gift that can, ideally, be effectively channeled into various skills, such as artistic expression or empathic listening. But, just like all people, they are not born knowing how to label, express and regulate their emotional reactions.
Symptoms of BPD can develop when naturally sensitive children don’t learn to effectively communicate emotions and are left making ineffective attempts to cope (such as self-harm or threats of suicide) with their intense feelings and reactions. BPD symptoms are a natural outgrowth family dynamic patterns. Children do not learn effective coping skills growing up if their family members avoid and deny emotions (so don’t understand how to model coping) or feel them intensely as well (and maybe never learned to cope effectively themselves). Many individuals who seek treatment do not have BPD themselves, but have been raised by someone with BPD and recognize some of the traits of the disorder in themselves. Just like any mental health problem, BPD is not your fault.
Personality disorders, by definition, are long-standing patterns that reduce your ability to handle feelings about yourself and emotions that arise about your relationships, career and the pursuit of your life goals. Some people do not experience every one the symptoms, but can see their experience reflected in the description of the traits above. It can feel intolerable to try to deal with these symptoms alone, and it can be just as difficult to watch a loved one struggle with BPD. Because these symptoms are long-standing and caused by many complex factors, they take time to treat effectively. However, whether you or your loved one struggle with one or many BPD symptoms, there is help.
With Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment, There Is Hope for Changing These Painful Patterns
I have worked in Atlanta as a psychologist specializing in Borderline Personality Disorder treatment for almost 20 years, and I have helped many people change longstanding dysfunctional patterns. Therapy that is individualized to focus on your specific needs can help you rebuild a life that feels worth the effort of living.
I specialize in working with patients with Borderline Personality Disorder and individuals who do not have the full BPD diagnosis, but experience some of the symptoms. In addition, I work with individuals with a family member or loved one who struggles with BPD. Regardless of how BPD has affected your life, it is important to work to understand the impact of BPD on your own emotions and to learn to care for yourself.
In sessions, I will work with you to create a warm, safe and compassionate environment so that you can work through the painful symptoms that are blocking your ability to feel happy and whole. I am able to draw on my experience, as well as my knowledge of many theoretical models and effective treatment approaches, to work collaboratively with you to build an individualized therapy that can bring you healing and relief.
Some people tell me that after successful Borderline Personality Disorder treatment, it finally feels like they have a life worth living. I have worked with clients who, at the beginning of therapy, could not tolerate their own intense and chaotic emotions and would harm themselves in a desire to feel differently or to end their lives. Therapy has helped these people let go of suicidal feelings and behaviors, believe that they deserve a fulfilling life and feel confident in their ability to pursue their goals.
Another client chronically felt insecure in her relationships. She would get angry with her partners for not caring for her, but she was also so afraid of being rejected by them that she would hold back from sharing her feelings. Through BPD focused treatment, this client was able to understand the roots of these reactions, let go of her harsh self-judgment and start believing that her feelings were legitimate. She became better able to communicate her needs so that her partner could hear her. And, during those inevitable times when a partner was not available, having a bad day or otherwise let her down, this client was able to cope. She had built a strong sense of self.
You, too, can develop the skills to care for yourself even in a moment of intense emotions. You can let go of shame and anxiety and begin to express your thoughts and needs directly, not through anger. Therapy can help you improve your ability to cope, your self-esteem and your relationships. Harmful patterns can be changed, even if they have troubled you for a long time. With help and support, you can begin to make your own choices with greater self-compassion and a sense of self.
Even though you may be ready for change, you may still have some concerns about Borderline Personality Disorder treatment…
I have heard BPD is untreatable.
You may have heard that BPD is a permanent, untreatable condition. In the past, some professionals believed this, but over the past 20-30 years, we have developed effective treatment approaches. You can indeed recover from BPD. With psychotherapy that is effective and appropriately targeted, you can stop feeling intense symptoms, begin to function well in your life and become able to handle future challenges without falling apart.
I’m not sure I have BPD. Some people say that I am being manipulative or just trying to get attention.
It can be so hurtful when people don’t understand what you are feeling and don’t take your feelings seriously. In sessions, you can gain a better understanding of the self-defeating emotional and relationship patterns that you have been stuck in. You can feel more compassion for yourself and improve your ability to communicate with your loved ones so that they can better understand you as well. During therapy, people with BPD or BPD traits often find that they can change their behavior so that it is more effective at work, at home, in relationships and in intense emotional moments.
If you recognize some of the BPD traits in yourself, you do not need to feel stigmatized by a label. I work with people as individuals, without focusing on labels or diagnostic descriptions. The empowering part of asking for specific, focused help is that you can finally get therapy that meets your needs and helps you to effectively meet your goals.
I tried therapy in the past and it did not work.
You are not alone! Many people with BPD traits have tried therapy, medication and other treatments to deal with the intense pain that they feel and have been frustrated by the results. You may have found that the therapist did not really “get it.” You may have felt judged or shamed, which makes it difficult to open up honestly and really get what you need out of therapy. Some patients have feared that their emotions are “too much” for the therapist, and some have been “fired” by therapists when their emotions or behaviors got too intense. When people with Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD traits have a negative experience in therapy, it sets them back because it only underscores their fears of being too intense and feeling judged, rejected and abandoned.
I make building a safe and effective therapy relationship a priority in our work together. We will work to build a healthy therapy alliance in which you can feel accepted, understood and pushed to make necessary changes at a pace that you can handle. I am also committed to talking about any hurts or ruptures that might occur in our therapy relationship and to doing my part to help us repair them and get back on track. With the right help and support, you can make positive, lasting changes in your life.
How Can We Get Started?
I am happy to answer any specific questions that you may have about Borderline Personality Disorder treatment. Feel free to call me for a brief phone consultation or to schedule an appointment. You can use the contact form on the contact page or call me at 404-668-9893.